“If I never saw you once again If suddenly you met your bitter end I’m not sure I’d ever understand But I could say I loved a good man … Oh your tender heart, Taught me the hardest part that I could never learn And everything you do promises I love you If you ever slip out of my hands I could say I loved a good man” -Anthony Cameron / Garth Williams

 

You’ve been gone 2 years, my my my have I grown and learned. I think you would be proud. You would be, even if you wouldn’t want to admit it.

Everyone reached out today, I LOVE that they did that. I LOVE all the pictures and memories I was sent today. I LOVE that they still love and miss you.

They were worried about me. Concerned about me. Wanted to make sure I was okay. And you know what I was. It has been two years, but today is just another day. I miss you no more today than I did yesterday and I will tomorrow. I love you no more than I did yesterday and I will tomorrow. The fact that you died sucks, but it sucks everyday. Today is the anniversary of you being pain free and no longer suffering, and for that I am so thankful. The suffering you endured I wish on no one.

Today I set goals and promises to you.

  1. I promise to finish the book you told me to write. I remember standing on the back of the big boat in San Diego, after getting out of the water from cutting fishing line and seaweed off of the props and hooking up the pipes for a bait tank. I had cuts from the knife on my fingers and my jaw hurt from biting down on the zip ties. But I did it, and you taught me how. But as I stood there dripping wet, chugging a beer you said, “When this is all over, you need to write a book, but just the good stuff”.  I remember us laughing when you said “just the good stuff”. That book will be finished this year, it will be full of the good stuff but our story is not complete without including the bad stuff too!
  2. I promise to catch a marlin. We were so close so many times and you wanted it so badly for me. You taught me how to drive to them, set the rods for them and hook them. I am ready to catch one.
  3. I promise to get in real shape. You always said we were all show and no and go hahahhahahaha  …. It’s time to change that! I am 40 after all. The fact that you were 40 when you were diagnosed has been heavy on my mind these last few months and I know I need to make every effort possible to stay healthy for as long as possible. I owe it to you.
  4. I promise to try. You wanted to meet someone and get married again. You didn’t want me to be alone. I’ll try. I promise.  
  5. I also spent A LOT of money on boat parts today … you would be proud.

I love you and miss you today, just like everyday.

– xoxo Victoria

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