I don’t talk about loneliness a lot but it’s deafening. Even with the tv on, music playing and a dog barking the loneliness seeps in. 

I am lonely. So so lonely. I have lived in North Carolina for almost two years, and I have just as many friends if not less, than when I moved here.  I have tried. I know I am weird and quirky, I have been called both by numerous people, but I still don’t get it. I will drop anything to help someone. I’m easy going and don’t care what we do. I’m up for anything. Maybe it’s because I talk too much? I’m alone a lot, so when I’m around other people I tend to talk a lot because I don’t socialize very often.  

It’s hard because sometimes I think I have plans and then when it comes to the day before or the day off I never hear from the people. I will reach out and not receive a response. And then right before it’s a half assed text apology and still no real invite. It sucks. 

It’s hard to be the only single one. I am always the third, fifth, ninth or eleventh wheel, I don’t care but I think I am excluded a lot because of it. It makes people uncomfortable for some reason. I’m fine with it, but it bothers others. The thing is … I’m not single by choice and widowhood is not contagious. 

I don’t need pity invites or pity calls and text messages. I’m okay. Just realizing how lonely I really am. I feel like I have given this area a shot but maybe I need to consider moving, or just find an area that is not this area. hahahhaha 

If you are lucky enough to have someone sitting next to you right now, tell them you love them.

– xoxo Victoria

“Loneliness is, like, when you wish someone else was there, and solitude is when you enjoy being alone. I don’t always wanna be alone, but I definitely like pockets of solitude to recharge and come back to myself. I think that’s so important for everyone.” – Jonathan Van Ness