So I don’t think I complain a lot.. maybe I do, but I try not to. I try to make the best of every situation. But tonight I’m sitting on my couch crying. It’s no one’s fault. I think I am stressed about starting work next week (Yes! I got job!) and school and the dogs being alone while I’m at both, a dog sitter I really don’t know (but seems amazing and comes VERY highly recommended) and figuring out how to do my taxes for the first time and a broken car, a falling down carport, a cracking ceiling and well … just life. And it’s been raining and crappy weather for about 3 weeks straight – that really bums me out more than anything else.
Ever since Duane passed I have this inability to do more than 2 or 3 things in a day. If I try to, I get so overwhelmed I can’t handle it. I have a major break down. It’s getting better and I have learned to work with it, but it sucks. I really have to PLAN – not something I’m used to. I have also become way more sensitive – maybe I’ll do a separate post on that later …
So tonight I rented “A Star is Born” from Redbox. I was super excited to watch it. But the DVD is BROKEN. This is not the first time this has happened at Redbox. I was fine with it until … I called in and they hung up on me. They said they would not refund my money (seriously it’s $1.75 it’s not about the money – it’s about customer service – but when you ship your jobs overseas….), I need to call back in tomorrow and talk to someone else. I asked why and she got quiet so I asked again and she hung up on me.
Why cant people just be nice. This was the last time I rent from Redbox. And I know it doesn’t matter. I am just one person. But I remember Duane saying, I’ll never buy anything made in China again, I laughed, but, he didn’t (to the best of his knowledge).
This is such a stupid thing to be upset about, I know. But sometimes this is my reality. Honestly this is my nonexistent life now! HAHAHAHAHA! I obviously need to get out more. I guess this is just leading into a post about PTSD, Caregiver burnout and life changing events. Maybe this is what needed to happen – a broken DVD – to help me get deeper about caregiving and death and widowhood and the toll that they take on a person.
– xoxo Victoria
Title quote from this this – I love The Carpenters!!