Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. Tonight is all about taking a deep breath. As I sit here crying on the couch all I can do is breath in and breath out.
I miss him. I miss the water skiing, dirt biking, the fishing, the snow skiing, the camping, the crazy antics…but most of all I miss just hanging out. The 96 hours every 48 hours where we just got to have fun. I miss my best friend.
Duane is starting to progress a little faster than what has been his normal. This week he has lost his ability to speak…pretty much. He is losing weight even though I’m cooking all his food in cream and adding cheese to everything! His pain levels have about doubled and we are medicating a few times throughout the night and eventually just getting up around 4:45am. It’s been a long few days and I am mentally preparing for the days to get longer and harder.
I love him. I am tired. Some tears. Little vent. Comfy couch. Glass or two of wine.
– xoxo Victoria