“Well all these times they come and go/ And alone don’t seem so long/ Over ten years have gone by/ We can’t rewind, we’re locked in time/ But you’re still mine/ Do you remember?” – Jack Johnson

Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.  Tonight is all about taking a deep breath.  As I sit here crying on the couch all I can do is breath in and breath out.  

I miss him.  I miss the water skiing, dirt biking, the fishing, the snow skiing, the camping, the crazy antics…but most of all I miss just hanging out.  The 96 hours every 48 hours where we just got to have fun.  I miss my best friend.  

Duane is starting to progress a little faster than what has been his normal.  This week he has lost his ability to speak…pretty much.  He is losing weight even though I’m cooking all his food in cream and adding cheese to everything!  His pain levels have about doubled and we are medicating a few times throughout the night and eventually just getting up around 4:45am.  It’s been a long few days and I am mentally preparing for the days to get longer and harder.  

I love him.  I am tired.  Some tears. Little vent.  Comfy couch.  Glass or two of wine.

– xoxo Victoria

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One thought on ““Well all these times they come and go/ And alone don’t seem so long/ Over ten years have gone by/ We can’t rewind, we’re locked in time/ But you’re still mine/ Do you remember?” – Jack Johnson

  1. I am a friend of Nikki H. She told me about your blog. My sister in law has ALS. She too just lost the ability to speak. She had a feeding tube place on Thursday. Each time something like this happens, there is a setback mentally for her because she knows she is losing control of something else.

    You are a saint for taking on the role of caregiver and you are my hero. Stay strong.

    Liked by 1 person

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