I will be the first to admit that I have been very lucky in life.  I have been fortunate to follow my dreams, no matter how many times they changed and have always had the support of my family and friends. 

Today I found out that I didn’t get something that I really wanted, probably the one thing that I wanted more than I have ever wanted anything before. I did my due diligence, did my research, provided the references, followed up but it didn’t matter. This is the first thing that I have gone above, beyond, side ways, backwards and in circles for. 

A bill was recently passed to help family caregivers. They (whoever “they” are) formed a committee of people from all over the country to help family caregivers. Well today, after 6 calls and four messages in three weeks I learned that I did not get a place on the committee. 

The truth is I figured there were really only three to four seats on the committee for everyday citizens, the rest would be for organizations and nonprofits that donate money, because let’s face it that’s the way our government and country works. 

When I found out today I asked questions. Not a single question I asked could be answered. The person in charge of this committee (they are on at least the 6th different person) didn’t know any stats on caregiving. The average age of caregivers, percentage of young caregivers, young spouse caregivers … the number of young spouses who die within a year of their spouse dying, the suicide rates of these caregivers – nothing. 

And you know what – he didn’t care. Any question I asked was pushed aside. He did tell me I am able to go to the first meeting they will have in Washington DC, but they don’t know when it will be, where is will be or how I can find out about it. 

I am disappointed. I could have actually helped, I could have made life easier for thousands of people. But is doesn’t matter. I am sad that the people in charge of this don’t care, they think they do, but until you are IN IT you really don’t. You don’t know the dynamics, the struggles or the real needs to this group of people, until you are this group of people. 

So night I am wiping my tears and figuring out the next step … is there a next step? I know I can help people, but how?

Thank you to everyone who wrote letters of recommendation, nominations and showed their support. I love you all. 

– xoxo Victoria