“They say ignorance is bliss because once you know about the tumor or the prognosis, you can’t go back. Will you be strong or will you fall apart? It’s hard to predict so don’t worry about it. Enjoy the time you have before the news comes. Yep, ignorance is bliss.” – Grey’s Anatomy

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Four years ago we woke up and knew it was starting….

On June 23, 2014 Duane had shoulder surgery. He had torn his labrum, bicep tendon and rotor cuff on a fire. He was diagnosed with ALS a year before. Due to “politics” he was forced to go back to work… he tore up his shoulder. The exact same doctor who originally told him “you have ALS” told him to have shoulder surgery. WHAT???? Everything about ALS, anesthesia and surgery said this was a bad idea… but we listened to the “expert”. 

He never really used his right arm again. He started losing his balance within weeks and never spoke clearly again. 

We always wondered about it. If he didn’t have the surgery would he have processed so fast? We thought not. 

I took this picture when he woke up from surgery. He posed for it. We were joking with the nurses and making them laugh with our jokes and banter. Little did we know that we may have just made the worst decision possible. 

Please do your own research. Don’t take a doctors word for it. You have to be your own advocate. Even Duane said he shouldn’t have had the surgery. He still had ALS, he still had a death sentence, BUT would he have progressed slower without this trauma? Would we have had a longer life together? Would we have laughed longer? Loved longer? We  think so. 

– xoxo Victoria

4 thoughts on ““They say ignorance is bliss because once you know about the tumor or the prognosis, you can’t go back. Will you be strong or will you fall apart? It’s hard to predict so don’t worry about it. Enjoy the time you have before the news comes. Yep, ignorance is bliss.” – Grey’s Anatomy”

  1. The very sad thing those of us who have ones we love with all are hearts is what if I had done that. I beat myself up for years because I was going to make a ham for dinner. Bill and Sean decided to golf 18 holes instead of nine. So I just made fish and Tatar tots for dinner because I had a busy day and an “important” meeting the next day. What is ironic I don’t even remember what that meeting was. But I always remember I did not make the ham. The insane thing is. It was just a ham. It was nothing special. But we always think what if……it sucks and it really never goes away. But it does fade some. Duane will always be with you. The same as Sean will always be with me. But as you can see even after 25 years the pain is always there. But I think we are here to remind others and encourage others. Be kind to yourself. You are a smart, beautiful woman and you have much wisdom to pass on.

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  2. So true Victoria, we have to be our own advocates. We wouldn’t learn this without going through things though. You have more knowledge now and are a very strong women! That you can take with you and lead the life you love. Appreciated things that some miss out on. Knowledge is power but doesn’t come from not learning on your own. So much love to you, xoxo

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  3. I had double carpal tunnel surgery in December, 2014. Noticeable ALS symptoms started less than two months later. Drs have said it may not have been carpal tunnel, but early signs of ALS, that I was misdiagnosed. I swear going under anesthesia twice in ten days set off a catastrophic progression of this horrible disease.

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